Recently it seems like there’s something huge going on in everyone’s life. They feel the need to share whatever it is with the internet and I guess with my graduation in June and the relaunch of vapaus I can contribute to that trend as well. It’s time for a life update.

Graduation

In my first post after my hiatus I talked about graduating high school; that the biggest part of my life came to an end. Of course this leaves room for endless amounts of new ways and chances, but also for a lot of questions and helplessness.

I was never really sure what I want to do in life, which career I want to pursue. I only went to high school because I wasn’t sure what to do and I thought after those five years I would know it; didn’t quite work out. I have lots of dreams and wishful thinking, but nothing you can really hold onto. I have the end goal but I never thought about the way, how to get there. Now it’s taking its toll on me.

All of my friends and classmates are off to do something with their life — studying, working or traveling. They have a plan, even if it’s just until next summer. And I’m just sitting here in my room the whole day, in front of my computer or in my bed (or both), not doing anything with my time and then getting annoyed at myself for it.

I’m missing structure and routines, knowing exactly what the next day brings. Especially now it’s kinda hard because school is about to start again and I always loved this time of the year. Getting back to your daily life, being productive and starting something new.

Routine

I’ve always been a person who needs a special point to start something. Mondays, the first day of a new month or (my absolute favorite) January 1st. The beginning of September is also one of those special moments and I’m rather thankful that it’s just around the corner.

I do know that waiting for those special days is just one way to procrastinate, but it helps to prepare yourself for the changes or challenges. I’ve been thinking about said changes and challenges a lot lately and I think I am ready for them (hopefully).

With the beginning of September I want a (good) routine back in my life. I want to wake up early, eat a somewhat healthy breakfast and get shit done during the day. I want to work on different projects, one of them being the blog, and be proud of the things I do and accomplish.

Blogging

I think it’s obvious that I want to work harder on the content I put out there. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have relaunched the vapaus. I want this to be the start of something bigger and better.

Beside the “normal” content on here, I want to try to get into making videos. Not normal talky-videos (at least not now) but something more artistic, something that’s nice to look at and makes you feel something. The idea and planing for my first try is almost finished, and I hope there are many more to come.

Fitness & Body Confidence

The other big project is, well, myself. I think there has never been a time when I was completely happy with myself and how I looked. There were times where it got better, but also times were it wasn’t all too good. And to be honest, it sucks.

The things I want to work on the most are my stamina and my flexibility because both are quite laughable at the moment. I have some sort of plan but I’ll definitely look more into it when the time comes.

I also want to learn to love myself the way I am and be happy and confident in my body. I know that there are a lot of people out there who struggle with the same issues as me so this is a topic I really want to include more on my blog (when I get better at it myself), so look forward to that.

What happens next?

Even though I am kinda lost, there are a few things in the near future that are certain. Next week I’m going on a little adventure – you’ll read more about it on Monday. I also have a job from October till the end of the year. I’m working in the same tea shop I worked last year and I’m really looking forward to it.

With the end of the year also my plan comes to an end, so finding a job for the new year is one of the most important things to sort out right now. I still don’t know if I want to go to university and if so, what I want to study, so there’s this big question as well, but those issues can wait till September.

 

As you can see, there are a lot of things on my mind right now. I would say it’s a classic case of an after-graduation-void. And as I’m trying to fill that void with something kinda useful, there’s at least one positive thing about it: it makes a good Instagram description.

Love, Jacky N.

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